"If you are a normal Indian male, you gotta be into cricket!". Well, even if I don't seem normal at all, I am definitely male! And hence the attraction.
So, this season of IPL reminded me of a conversation I had with my girlfriend last season on the same. (Yes ladies sorry to break all your heart I am not single! And guys even a maniac looser like me has a girlfriend and that too a sizzling hot one! Oh! you loosers *Evil Laugh*) Anyways the conversation:
ME: Hey! I gotta go, the match would be on right now!
GF: Match?? which match? India's match? How many matches do they play in a year?
ME: No dumbo! Its Kolkata vs Hyderabad!
GF: You even watch the domestic matches? Gawd your so vella!
ME: Domestic? Oh babe! Its IPL season! Don't you know I-P-L!
GF: Yeah I do! Courtesy my bro! He is always talking bout it. But whats the big deal? Its still domestic.
ME: No, it is not! Its a league! Indian Premier League!
GF: Indian league.........
ME: Duh! There are international players too!
GF: *confused* I don't get whats the fuss about this IPL with you guys!
ME: *sigh* Okay I'll explain...........just lemme check on the score then on my cell.
GF: Okay!
ME: Okay so IPL has 8 teams Kolkata, Mumbai, Delhi, Chennai, Hyderabad, Punjab, Rajasthan and Bangalore. Each team has some Indian players, and some international players. depends on which teams franchise buys whom.
GF: *shocked* They buy players!!!
ME: Umm.....actually they bid.
GF: Human trading..............isn't it against the law?
ME: errrrr.....Its not human trading!
GF: *blank*
ME: Drop that okay? So you get the rest huh?
GF: umm......Indian and international players make teams and play each other........
ME: Yes! And bollywood stars and big industrialist like Vijay Malya and Ambani have bought these teams! Sharukh Khan, Preity Zinta and Shilpa Shetty too have bought some teams.
GF: I know SRK has team named KKR!
ME: Yes! The Kolkata Knight Riders!
GF: There are our players in each team?
ME: Yes.
GF: So how do you know which team to support and cheer for?
ME: You pick any one or maybe more...........depends on person and somewhat on the city they live in or belong to! I support Kolkata.
GF: Isn't that regionalism?
ME: NO! Why would it be that?
GF: Instead of supporting the national team, everyone is supporting a team of his city or region.........what else is it, if not regionalism?
ME: *blank*
GF: See its not good.........its bad. You should not watch this IPL infact condemn it for spreading regionalism and spend more time with me! *smiles*
ME: Its not regionalism! Its Cricket for Gawd's sake!
GF: So is Womens cricket! Do you ever watch it?
ME: Now what does Womens Cricket has to do with all this?
GF: Do you know who is Jhulan Goswami?
ME: *dumb stuck*
GF: You don't! And you say you are a cricket fan! She is the captain of Indian Womens Cricket team!
ME: Thats not cricket knowledge! Thats IQ!
GF: IQ?? And the captain of mens team, this would be IQ too?
ME: No! It would be...................instincts.......its so natural to know.......like the sun rises in the east!
GF: And its not natural and normal to posses knowledge about womens cricket team?
ME: No! That would be despo! *Laughs*
GF: Thats so sexist! You are all the same...............Male Chauvinist Pig! I thought you were different! You all are sexist and Regionalist. Damn you male species! Rot in hell all of you and your IPL!
And she left me, not before she swung her heavy leather bag (stuffed with things I can't, won't, shouldn't, couldn't imagine) in the direction of my chauvinist-pig head!
ME: *mouth open* *eyes wide open* *state of shock* *hair messed up* *shattered rep n ego*
Now, what the hell did I do to piss her off? Explain a girl about the greatest discovery/invention by an Indian and you are a Male Chauvinist Pig!!!! Damn you girls are strange!
(Ladies, I am single now! Boys, stop ROFLing at me!)
Question I'd like to ask the ladies after this incident:
- Why do all men become "Male Chauvinist Pig" when they do not comply according to your standards or shall I say will?
- Why punish our dear IPL to rot in hell when we are the Chauvinist-Pig and not the poor innocent IPL?
- Will I live to see tomorrow's sunrise after publishing this post?
Anyways, KKR won the match against DC that day! YAY!!!!! *happy dance*
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